24 Hilarious Sex Things That Happen In Every Harry Potter Fic

Accio lube.

Before we get started, I'll be the first to say that tropes exist for a reason and that's because they can be FUN AND DELIGHTFUL. I for one will never tire of reading about Harry and Draco snogging in a broom closet — so there's no hating here. But that doesn't mean there's not stuff to make fun of.

SO, OKAY. LET'S LAUGH ABOUT SOME HP SMUT.

First things first, the Room of Requirement is wildly abused for shenanigans.

First things first, the Room of Requirement is wildly abused for shenanigans.

I mean, it's also known as the Come and Go Room, soooo what did the Hogwarts founders expect?

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Not to mention, the astronomy tower sees its fair share of sex. Because stars? Or something?

Not to mention, the astronomy tower sees its fair share of sex. Because stars? Or something?

Shockingly, not a lot of word count gets dedicated to describing how cold and uncomfortable it would be to HAVE SEX IN AN OUTDOOR STONE TOWER, but okay.

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Ditto the library.

Ditto the library.

If a pairing features Hermione Granger, you best believe there is library sex in it.

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There’s an obscene amount of sex on the floor or against walls because hey, shagging around the castle is definitely a good idea.

There's an obscene amount of sex on the floor or against walls because hey, shagging around the castle is definitely a good idea.

Luckily, Mrs. Norris always turns a blind eye.

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Speaking of shagging, Briticisms are sprinkled liberally across sex scenes.

Speaking of shagging, Briticisms are sprinkled liberally across sex scenes.

An HP fic sex scene isn't complete without lots of ~snogging~.

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There are spells that definitely don’t exist in the books, namely for contraceptive purposes.

There are spells that definitely don't exist in the books, namely for contraceptive purposes.

Hogwarts didn't even have pencils. You think they had condoms?

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Not to mention lube spells.

Not to mention lube spells.

Honestly, I'm not mad about it. At least fic is promoting the use of lube in a healthy sex life!!!

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And engorgio. Enough said.

And engorgio. Enough said.

Which, unnecessary. It's not the length of wand that matters, it's how you swish and flick it.

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If we’re being honest, wands are occasionally brought into sex in an entirely inappropriate way.

If we're being honest, wands are occasionally brought into sex in an entirely inappropriate way.

Vibratio!

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If characters are boning in their dorm, they cast a silencing spell so they can get down behind drawn bed curtains like it’s no big thing.

If characters are boning in their dorm, they cast a silencing spell so they can get down behind drawn bed curtains like it's no big thing.

Sharing a dorm room with four other people is no obstacle when you have silencio!

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Speaking of, characters sneak into each other’s dorms like it’s NBD, even if they’re in completely different houses.

Speaking of, characters sneak into each other's dorms like it's NBD, even if they're in completely different houses.

Not to split hairs, but NO OUTSIDER HAS ENTERED THE SLYTHERIN COMMON ROOM FOR MORE THAN SEVEN CENTURIES*, PEOPLE CAN'T JUST COME AND GO AS THEY PLEASE TO FUCK DRACO MALFOY!!!

*Until Harry and Ron did in Chamber of Secrets. I know, I know.

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But weirdly enough, student/teacher relationships are less of a big deal???

Feel free to @me, but I'm judging anyone who's ever written Snape into a sex scene. And there are a lot of you.

When characters in different houses bone, they’re referred to as their Hogwarts house, like ~The Gryffindor could feel the Slytherin tremble beneath his fingers~.

When characters in different houses bone, they're referred to as their Hogwarts house, like ~The Gryffindor could feel the Slytherin tremble beneath his fingers~.

Just stooooop.

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Fandom collectively made up a Head Boys’ and Girls’ shared dorm and common room that doesn’t exist in the books where — of course — a lot of boning went down.

Fandom collectively made up a Head Boys' and Girls' shared dorm and common room that doesn't exist in the books where — of course — a lot of boning went down.

Particularly popular in Draco/Hermione and James/Lily fic. But I repeat: NO SUCH THING EXISTED! It was just a useful plot device for the express purpose of giving characters someone to bang!

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Characters get accidentally locked in broom cupboards more often than strictly believable — but that’s okay, they always wind up shagging to pass the time.

Characters get accidentally locked in broom cupboards more often than strictly believable — but that's okay, they always wind up shagging to pass the time.

What ELSE are you going to do?

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And there’s occasional frantic train compartment sex, especially after a character comes back from summer holiday sporting a massive glow-up.

And there's occasional frantic train compartment sex, especially after a character comes back from summer holiday sporting a massive glow-up.

Summers in Nice always did Draco Malfoy nicely.

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Quidditch players always have unbelievable bodies, obviously, and their ~Quidditch muscles~ are heavily noted during sex.

Quidditch players always have unbelievable bodies, obviously, and their ~Quidditch muscles~ are heavily noted during sex.

No offense, but how ripped can you realistically get riding around on a broom?

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Speaking of unrealistic Hogwarts things, the school uniforms are always much sexier in fic than they’re likely meant to be.

Speaking of unrealistic Hogwarts things, the school uniforms are always much sexier in fic than they're likely meant to be.

PRETTY sure those uniform skirts aren't that short in canon.

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And don’t get me started on the type of shit characters get up to with their house ties.

And don't get me started on the type of shit characters get up to with their house ties.

The Hogwarts student body is far kinkier in fic than you'd expect.

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Wizarding metaphors and similes run rampant — particularly comparing things to wands, if you catch my drift.

Wizarding metaphors and similes run rampant — particularly comparing things to wands, if you catch my drift.

Just a LITTLE on the nose.

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Far too much sex happens as a result of house parties with free-flowing Firewhisky.

Far too much sex happens as a result of house parties with free-flowing Firewhisky.

Some ~cool seventh-year~ always manages to sneak it into the castle.

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In general, far too many characters are written as sex gods despite the fact that they’re LITERAL STUDENTS WHO WERE PROBABLY FUMBLING VIRGINS UNTIL TWO MINUTES AGO.

In general, far too many characters are written as sex gods despite the fact that they're LITERAL STUDENTS WHO WERE PROBABLY FUMBLING VIRGINS UNTIL TWO MINUTES AGO.

It miiiight be because, a good chunk of the time, a character is secretly half-Veela or something. Or because all witches and wizards are just insanely good at sex. Because magic.

WHATEVER.

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This Diabetes-Related Viral Tweet Shows How Clueless People Can Be

PSA: Try not to ask people with diabetes to skip checking their blood sugar, adjusting their insulin pump, or injecting insulin because you think it’s ~gross~.

Type 1 diabetes — although treatable — is a deadly and dangerous illness.

Type 1 diabetes — although treatable — is a deadly and dangerous illness.

Without insulin injections or an insulin pump, people with type 1 are in serious trouble. And in fact, if they accidentally get too much insulin, that’s ALSO life-threatening. So for people with type 1 diabetes it’s a fact of life to spend time every day checking blood sugar and managing insulin. Actually, it IS life.

Only about 5–10% of people with diabetes in the US have type 1, and it’s a totally different disease from type 2 diabetes. Type 1 is an autoimmune disease that essentially destroys the cells in the pancreas that make insulin, a hormone that shuttles blood sugar (which rises after you eat) into cells to be used as energy.

Don’t take your pancreas for granted. When it’s working, the pancreas does this job naturally for you every day, keeping blood sugar — which, BTW, is a hideous poison at high levels — in the safe range.

Type 1 diabetes can develop at any age, but it often occurs in childhood. So if you see a teen or young adult using insulin, they probably have type 1. (Although type 2, which used to happen almost exclusively in people over 45, now occurs more often in children and teens, and some people can have a combo of both types. So don’t assume.)

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A similar tweet then went viral, with 115,000 retweets and nearly half a million likes. And the thread is a great lesson in what not to say to someone with diabetes.

A similar tweet then went viral, with 115,000 retweets and nearly half a million likes. And the thread is a great lesson in what not to say to someone with diabetes.

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Lena Dunham Had A Hysterectomy For Endometriosis. Here’s What Experts Think

There are many different therapies for endometriosis, a condition that causes severe pelvic pain and bleeding, but hysterectomies typically aren’t one of them.

On Wednesday, 31-year-old actress and writer Lena Dunham revealed in an essay in the March issue of Vogue that she had had a hysterectomy.

Dunham, best known for her HBO series “Girls,” wrote that she chose to have her uterus removed after a decade-long battle with endometriosis. According to the essay, Dunham chose to have the procedure as a last-ditch-effort to ease pain that continued, unabated, through many different treatment regimens.

“I go to pelvic-floor therapy, massage therapy, pain therapy, color therapy, acupuncture, yoga, and a brief yet horrifying foray into vaginal massage from a stranger. I am determined to outmaneuver whatever is eating me from the inside. But I can only run so well with cement blocks strapped to my feet. Finally I ask my doctor if my uterus needs to come out. She says, 'let's wait and see',” Dunham wrote. Two days after this conversation, Dunham wrote that she checked herself into the hospital, determined to leave without a uterus.

Hysterectomies are not a common treatment for endometriosis. Dunham wrote that it took six days in the hospital, a 1,000-word letter as proof of consent, three therapy sessions, and an unsuccessful dilation and curettage procedure until she finally convinced her doctors to perform a hysterectomy. So what exactly is the standard of care for this painful condition? We spoke to an expert to find out.

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In endometriosis, the tissue that normally lines the uterus escapes and attaches to other organs, which can cause scarring, heavy periods, and severe or even debilitating pain.

“The endometrial tissue behaves just like it does when it's inside the uterus, which means it responds to hormones and thickens and bleeds every time you have a period,” Dr. Kathy Huang, the director of the Endometriosis Center at NYU Langone Health, tells BuzzFeed News. The tissue typically grows on pelvic organs such as the ovaries, fallopian tubes, bladder, and bowel, Huang says. In rare cases, it can grow on organs elsewhere in the body, such as the lungs or even the brain. The exact cause of endometriosis is unknown.

“Because the blood has nowhere to go and it gets trapped in the body, this can cause inflammation… so wherever the lesions or endometrial tissue is, there's a lot of scarring and pain, usually during the period,” Huang says. So the most common symptoms are pelvic pain, painful periods, pain during intercourse, bowel issues, and excessive bleeding.

The pain associated with endometriosis is not something that goes away after popping some ibuprofen and using a hot water bottle. It's often described as excruciating, persistent, and even debilitating. When endometriosis goes undiagnosed and/or untreated, Huang says, the scarring can become so severe that the areas with lesions hurt all the time, not just during a period. Long-term complications can include infertility, pelvic cysts, “chocolate” cysts on the ovaries, and even bowel obstructions.

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There is no cure for endometriosis, but you can treat symptoms with hormonal birth control pills, pain medication, and pelvic floor therapy.

There is no cure for endometriosis, but you can treat symptoms with hormonal birth control pills, pain medication, and pelvic floor therapy.

Typically, doctors diagnose endometriosis by doing a detailed history, a pelvic exam, and in some cases, surgery to identify the lesions. “Performing surgery to make a diagnosis is very invasive, so I work very closely with a radiologist and we use a MRI protocol to make the diagnosis instead, and it's over 80% accurate,” Huang says.

Once you are diagnosed, the treatment really varies depending on your goals and the type of pain. “If the woman is not trying to get pregnant, we will try hormonal birth control to regulate the hormones and period but this only minimizes symptoms and it doesn't treat the actual problem,” Huang says. Doctors may prescribe birth control pills or a progestin-only contraceptives, such as the hormonal IUD (Mirena) or the Depo-Provera injection. There are a few other medications that induce an artificial menopause or prevent the growth of the endometrium, but these are older and less popular due to the severe side effects.

Pelvic floor therapy can be helpful because endometriosis can cause the pelvic floor muscles to tense up, Huang says, so you need help to relax them again. Patients may also see a sex therapist to learn techniques that can make sex less painful and in some cases, possible.

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There are surgeries to treat endometriosis, such as laparoscopic excision or ablation, but these are often done to remove abnormal tissue while conserving the reproductive organs.

There are surgeries to treat endometriosis, such as laparoscopic excision or ablation, but these are often done to remove abnormal tissue while conserving the reproductive organs.

“If the patient does want to get pregnant then birth control pills aren't an option, or if they are still in a lot of pain and they've tried other treatments, then we offer surgical intervention,” Huang says. When doctors do surgically remove the endometrial tissue, they try to do so without removing any organs, called “conservative therapy,” and this is done laparoscopically.

There are generally two types of laparoscopic surgery: resection (or excision) or ablation. “An endometriosis resection means we remove the entire lesion but conserve the uterus and ovaries and other organs and in this case, the recurrence is very low; but an ablation only burns off the superficial layer of the lesion so historically, the recurrence rate is much higher,” Huang says. Although conservative therapy surgeries can successfully treat endometriosis, they are still invasive and costly procedures. So for many women, they simply aren't an option.

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Hysterectomies — which remove the entire uterus — do not cure endometriosis and the pain can still come back.

Hysterectomies — which remove the entire uterus — do not cure endometriosis and the pain can still come back.

“If you only have endometriosis, I won't recommend a hysterectomy,” Huang says. Another problem with hysterectomies is that the pain can still come back. “A hysterectomy doesn't always help because endometriosis is by definition an extrauterine disease, which means it exists outside the uterus — so as long as you still have your ovaries and your hormones, then any endometrial tissue can bleed again and cause pain,” Huang says. A hysterectomy only removes the uterus (and the cervix, if it's a total hysterectomy), but not the ovaries.

“I don't suggest it as a treatment for endometriosis, but if the woman brings it up or demands that she wants her uterus removed and doesn't want children, then we'll discuss it,” Huang says. However, a hysterectomy can help if you have a condition called adenomyosis, Huang says, which means the endometrial tissue has invaded the muscle tissue of the uterus. Sometimes people have both endometriosis and adenomyosis, but the hysterectomy can really only “cure” the latter. Dunham did not confirm whether she had adenomyosis.

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And because a hysterectomy makes it impossible to conceive without a surrogate, it isn’t an option for many women who want to have children.

And because a hysterectomy makes it impossible to conceive without a surrogate, it isn't an option for many women who want to have children.

When a patient wants a hysterectomy, there are a few important factors to consider, such as age, fertility concerns, pain level, and the risks and benefits of the procedure. “We really need to understand the patient's goals and what they are trying to achieve… usually, the patient has tried multiple therapies and it's a last resort,” Huang says. For women who want a hysterectomy but still want children, they will have to take the long and costly road of IVF and surrogacy to get there. So it's not an easy decision by any means.

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“I encourage people who have endometriosis to do their research and always get a second opinion about their treatment options,” Huang says.

"I encourage people who have endometriosis to do their research and always get a second opinion about their treatment options," Huang says.

“Our primary goal is to understand how endometriosis is affecting the patient's life and what we are trying to fix, and to explore all of the treatment options before jumping into surgery,” Huang says. However, the range in treatment options for endometriosis means you may get very different recommendations depending on the doctor, and not all of them are experienced with treating endometriosis.

So if you have endometriosis or you think you have it, you should do your own research beforehand and go to your OBGYN ready to ask all your questions. “Then, go see someone else and ask the same questions, because it's always good to get a second opinion… there's really nothing preventing you from seeing another doctor,” Huang says.

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While Dunham’s decision to get a hysterectomy might’ve been an unusual one, it did highlight an important point: endometriosis can be incredibly painful and frustrating.

Dunham explains that the decision to remove her uterus was not easy, and there were a lot of emotions involved. “Because I had to work so hard to have my pain acknowledged, there was no time to feel fear or grief. To say goodbye. I made a choice that never was a choice for me, yet mourning feels like a luxury I don’t have,” she wrote.

Endometriosis can be difficult to diagnose and treat, and people can experience frustration from years of being misdiagnosed or not being given the right care. “Many women are not properly treated for the disease,” Huang says. Unfortunately, many women also go undiagnosed, so it's important to see an OBGYN if you think you have symptoms. “If you're having a lot of pain during your period, that isn't normal — it doesn't always mean you have endometriosis — but it isn't normal, so you should go see a doctor to find out why you're having the pain,” Huang says.

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Endometriosis affects one in ten women of reproductive age — so if you have it, know that you aren’t alone.

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Norovirus Is Hitting The Olympics. Here’s What You Need To Know.

As the Winter Olympics take place, it looks like diarrhea and vomiting are going for the gold.

Officials are currently scrambling to contain an outbreak of norovirus among security staff at the Winter Olympics. So far, nearly 200 people have gotten sick.

Officials are currently scrambling to contain an outbreak of norovirus among security staff at the Winter Olympics. So far, nearly 200 people have gotten sick.

In the days leading up to the opening ceremony of the 2018 Winter Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea, an unlikely competitor arrived to steal the show: norovirus, a nasty stomach bug. The outbreak, which has occurred primarily among security guards, sent officials into a frenzy.

As of Tuesday, there have been 199 confirmed cases; 154 of those people have returned to work while 45 remain in quarantine, according to the latest statement from the Korea Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (KCDC). So far, the majority of cases (108) have been at the Horeb Youth Centre, a dormitory where security staff members reside during the games. However, there have also been 38 cases in Pyeongchang and 53 cases in Gangneung, the coastal city where indoor ice sports such as figure skating are taking place.

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In response, 1,200 members of security detail were quarantined, and officials drafted members of the South Korean army to fill in as staff, BuzzFeed News previously reported. No athletes have been diagnosed so far.

In response, 1,200 members of security detail were quarantined, and officials drafted members of the South Korean army to fill in as staff, BuzzFeed News previously reported. No athletes have been diagnosed so far.

So what is norovirus, how does it spread, and how can you prevent yourself from getting infected? We reached out to an expert to find out.

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It typically spreads through contaminated water or food, or contact with contaminated people and surfaces.

It typically spreads through contaminated water or food, or contact with contaminated people and surfaces.

Norovirus typically spreads by the fecal-oral route, Wormley says, which means people contract the virus from consuming food or beverages contaminated with fecal matter, or from touching their hands to their mouth after coming into contact with a contaminated surface (the bathroom sink, counter, doorknobs) or while cleaning up after a sick person. It can also spread directly from person to person when you are in close contact.

“It only takes 10 to 20 virus particles to infect someone, and when you're contagious you're shedding millions and billions of disease particles,” Wormley says. So you are most contagious when you have symptoms, but you can still transmit the virus to others after symptoms go away and you feel fine. “The virus can be found in your stool for up to two or three weeks after,” Wormley says.

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So outbreaks often occur in environments where tons of people are crowded together, such as cruise ships or…you guessed it: the dorms at the Olympics.

So outbreaks often occur in environments where tons of people are crowded together, such as cruise ships or...you guessed it: the dorms at the Olympics.

Norovirus outbreaks have also been linked to schools, public bathrooms, and kitchens where food is prepared for the masses. It doesn't take much for norovirus to spread, so one sick person can lead to a massive outbreak.

As we mentioned, norovirus has been known to spread like wildfire on cruise ships, but also planes and buses. “When you're traveling, you might already be dehydrated and this can exacerbate the norovirus symptoms, so you have to be careful,” Wormley says. However, norovirus is not the same as traveler's diarrhea, which is usually caused by bacteria.

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The infection typically isn’t life-threatening, but you should see a doctor if your symptoms become severe or you are considered “high risk.”

The infection typically isn't life-threatening, but you should see a doctor if your symptoms become severe or you are considered "high risk."

“Most people don’t need to be hospitalized, but some people can become severely dehydrated and others are at risk for more complications,” Wormley says. You should go to the hospital if your symptoms do not go away after three days or they worsen. Severe symptoms include a high and persistent fever and signs of dehydration (dizziness, not being able to urinate, sunken eyes, etc.). You should also seek medical care if you contract norovirus and you're considered “high risk,” which means the very young, the very old, and people who are immunocompromised, Wormley says.

If you go to the hospital or urgent care for norovirus, you'll probably just get an IV bag to replace your fluids — and no antibiotics. “A common misconception with norovirus is that you need to go to your doctor and ask for antibiotics but this is a virus, so antibiotics won't work,” Wormley says. So just remember to stay hydrated and ride it out. “You might feel like you're going to die but you probably aren't,” Wormley says.

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You can protect yourself and others from norovirus by washing your hands and avoiding or limiting contact with infected people.

You can protect yourself and others from norovirus by washing your hands and avoiding or limiting contact with infected people.

“Handwashing and sanitizing should be your best friend,” Wormley says. So make sure to wash your hands properly (with soap and water for at least 30 seconds) after you use the bathroom or public transport, before you eat or prepare food, and before you touch your face. You also want to avoid putting your hands in your mouth or biting your nails at all times, Wormley says, because this can transmit virus particles directly into your body.

If you're caring for a sick person, you should sanitize everything and wear gloves, Wormley says. You should also limit or avoid contact with said sick person, even if it's your partner or child. “When you vomit you can release aerosols and these can infect someone if they are close enough,” Wormley says. Oh, and no kissing your sick partner for a while, especially if they were vomiting. And if you're sick, try to stay home and do not prepare food for other people.

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And if you recover from norovirus, remember that you aren’t in the clear — you can still spread the illness…and you can get reinfected after a few months.

And if you recover from norovirus, remember that you aren't in the clear — you can still spread the illness...and you can get reinfected after a few months.

As we mentioned, norovirus is a highly contagious bug and you can still be contagious after your symptoms go away. So make sure you exercise caution for a week or two after you get better. And sorry, but there's no long-term immune protection with norovirus. “When you get norovirus, you only have immunity for a couple of months so you are still susceptible to get it later in life, especially since there are multiple strains,” Wormley says.

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20 Ways To Help A Partner Living With Mental Illness

“You’re going to be okay, and I’m here.”

We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to share what their significant others have done that helped ease their mental illnesses. Here are some things that you can do to help your partner (and anyone, really) who is going through a hard time:

We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to share what their significant others have done that helped ease their mental illnesses. Here are some things that you can do to help your partner (and anyone, really) who is going through a hard time:

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“Before I started dating my boyfriend, I was agoraphobic and would never get into cars with people. After about six long months with a lot of practice and A LOT of patience, he brought me out of my comfort zone and finally to his house. My boyfriend has been helping me out of my comfort zone over the last three years, and we’re still going strong!” —meganc4d25442ea

“Like most of my dad's side of the family, I have bipolar disorder. My husband is really great because when he sees that I'm getting to a bad place mentally, he offers to take our toddler out for a bit so I can have some time to myself. Just having him take our son out to the park for an hour or two so I can have quiet time makes a such a huge difference!” —jamesmoriarty

“Whenever my depression kicks in or I can feel myself about to panic, my boyfriend will hold me. He repeatedly tells me to breathe and that everything will be okay. Afterwards, he always suggests we get froyo or smoothies because he knows they’re my favorite. Sometimes you just need to hear that you’ll be okay out loud. And a smoothie doesn’t hurt either.” —katarinar4ece229c3

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“I used to do this thing where if I was anxious about something, I would dig my nails into my skin. I didn't even realize I was doing it at first, but he noticed right away. Immediately, he gave me his hand to hold just so I wouldn't hurt myself. It was such a small act of kindness and patience, but his selflessness and unwavering support was and has been a huge influence in my journey to getting better.” —leahmroy

The most amazing thing my boyfriend did for me was accept me. While he hasn’t personally dealt with mental health issues, he didn’t judge me or think less of me, or think I was being dramatic. He is wonderful at pointing out days or moments where he sees I am making progress. Often times he notices my progress more than I do.” —caseyc471932c25

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“When I was first diagnosed with an eating disorder, my boyfriend had a lot of trouble understanding what I'd been going through. He asked if he could meet with me and my doctor so that she could answer his questions. He also attended all of the family parts of my treatment, and constantly made sure he was doing what he needed to in order to support me throughout my recovery.” —clairebnewman

“My girlfriend and I happen to both have a mental illness. We have our own special code where we can tap each other’s hands a certain amount of times to ask if the other’s okay, if we’re anxious, or if we feel a little off. It helps to be able to ask if we’re okay without having to say it out loud in case one of us is super anxious or upset and doesn’t want anyone else to know.” —meanreed08

“When my depression cloud is really dark over me, my husband puts on America's Funniest Home Videos or takes me to the bookstore. He's the best.” —jessl44432cacd

“After I started dating my boyfriend, I realized how important it is to grow as a person and be able to be your own light. I also recognized that in order to be truly myself and help our relationship grow, I needed to be completely open and honest with him about all that makes me, me. After nervously telling my boyfriend about my past struggles, I found I felt more confident. And instead of feeling judged or thinking I was weird, he embraced me for me and reassured me that these things don’t change his feelings for me.” —amylynnm433301477

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Syd Robinson / BuzzFeed

My girlfriend talks me through my anxiety by asking questions like, Why did you feel this way?, Is this realistic? and, Are you sure you heard/saw this? These questions remind me to always stay grounded and that the world isn't as critical of me as I am.” —steviesue

“Little things make a world of difference, like how he calls me on Skype instead of on the phone because he wants to see me while we talk. Knowing how he sees me makes me feel so much more confident about my appearance and personality.” —katiep4472f3c87

“My boyfriend and I have great communication. Since I have depression, I've made sure to tell him exactly how I want to be supported if I'm having a bad day. The best thing he did was listen and remember what I needed. Now, he always asks if there's anything he can do or if there's anything I want or need. He also reminds me that he's always here for me, and encourages me to talk to him about my depression and to not let it build up inside.” —kcbrin

Syd Robinson / BuzzFeed

“My husband has gotten me into new hobbies that help relieve my stress and anxiety. He’s gotten me into crocheting, bought me book after book, and he’s gotten me several video games and puzzles. I can't thank him enough for always thinking of new things for me to do instead of pacing back and forth and getting stuck in my thoughts.” —kittytoes

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My husband encourages my creativity (like wanting to get bright pink hair) or hobbies (like adult coloring books).” —taramisu2

My husband started working late, so he gave me a jar filled with little notes about how he feels about me. Now I take them out whenever I anxiously start to doubt the relationship or myself.” —firelilyfairy

“I have a difficult time with loud, unexpected noises, so before doing anything noisy — whether it's crushing a water bottle or turning on the vacuum — my significant other warns me with a “Noise alert!” It sounds silly, but it really means a lot to me.” —a413307118

“My husband will talk about nothing in particular for as long as I need. I begin to focus more and more on what he is saying, and before I know it, my racing thoughts have slowed and I feel like I have a better grasp on my thoughts. My husband has so much patience with me. Being bipolar isn't easy, but having someone like him in my life makes my days better.” —j4b0cf1602

My partner encouraged me to see a therapist. He's been in therapy for five years and uses skills he's learned to help me when I'm anxious.” —pami45535c347

Syd Robinson / BuzzFeed

“My boyfriend helped me learn the difference between supporting someone (healthy) and taking responsibility for their wellbeing (unhealthy).” —s4b8bc1fb7

Syd Robinson / BuzzFeed

“I have Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder. The best thing my fiancé has ever done for me is not let me take my diagnosis and wallow in it. He is constantly helping me do research, he keeps my medicine and gives them to me weekly because I always lose my bottles, and he's called and booked me a therapy appointment because I was emotionally and physically unable to. Basically, he won’t let me become a diagnosis. To him, I am Courtney, a woman full of love and laughter, and that pesky mental illness is something that we'll combat and overcome together.” —courtneyw4d1efa99d

Syd Robinson / BuzzFeed

If you are thinking about suicide or just need to talk to someone, you can speak to someone by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or by texting HOME to 741741, the Crisis Text Line. Suicide helplines outside the US can be found here.

Note: Answers have been edited for length or clarity.

What Things Do You Do To Get Better Sleep?

Looking for small, doable tips and tricks that have helped you get more shut-eye.

For some people, getting to sleep is a piece of cake. But for others, it can be an absolute pain in the ass.

For some people, getting to sleep is a piece of cake. But for others, it can be an absolute pain in the ass.

^^^ Me on most nights, TBH.

ABC / Via wedoitbetta.tumblr.com

So we want to know: What are your little tips and tricks for getting better sleep?

So we want to know: What are your little tips and tricks for getting better sleep?

What things do you do before bed, throughout the day, or while you're in bed to make getting quality sleep a little bit easier?

Nintendo / Via imgur.com

Maybe you simply decided you weren’t going to bring your phone to bed anymore.

Maybe you simply decided you weren't going to bring your phone to bed anymore.

No more scrolling through Instagram in the middle of the night.

E! / Via buzzfeed.com

Or you stopped eating foods that were high in sugar or sodium at night because you realized they were keeping you up.

Or you stopped eating foods that were high in sugar or sodium at night because you realized they were keeping you up.

Or maybe you found foods that actually help you get some quality Zs.

FOX / Via everybodylovesbobbyhill.tumblr.com

Perhaps you started journaling before bed so that you got all your to-dos and random thoughts off your mind and down on paper.

Just over here trying to keep my never-ending spiral of thoughts to a minimum.

instagram.com

Via idownloadblog.com

Maybe you started listening to some white noise or soothing podcasts.

Maybe you started listening to some white noise or soothing podcasts.

Who doesn't love the sound of a babbling brook?

Nickelodeon / Via tenor.com

Or you decided to give up naps and start sticking to a regular sleep cycle, EVEN on the weekends.

Or you decided to give up naps and start sticking to a regular sleep cycle, EVEN on the weekends.

Because getting a solid night's sleep is probably better than a two-hour nap in the middle of the day.

FOX / Via giphy.com

21 Things Gynecologists Want You To Know About Your Period

“Is this normal?!”

Then we spoke with board-certified gynecologist Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive science at the Yale School of Medicine to get her expert responses on these questions.

And here's what she had to say:

Why is the blood darker in the end of the period?
vitoriafirmino

Why is the blood darker in the end of the period?
—vitoriafirmino

“That's a really good question! Some of the darker blood that comes out has been hanging around the uterus for a while, so it's older blood. But not to worry, because it's perfectly common and healthy.”

Kotex

Why exactly do my poop habits change around and during my period?
caitlinef

Why exactly do my poop habits change around and during my period?
—caitlinef

“I have a scientific answer for that. The uterus makes something called prostaglandins during the period. They are chemicals that are responsible for our menstrual cramps. They squeeze smooth muscles of uterus and intestines, which contracts muscles and changes your bowel habits. Some women are more sensitive to the prostaglandins they make. It also can cause nausea. Some people have sort of a trifecta: diarrhea, nausea, and cramps. The things that can help with prostaglandins are non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (Motrin, Aleve, etc.) are NSAIDs (Nonsteroidal Anti-inflammatory Drugs) — which block the making of more prostaglandins. If you're getting a lot of cramps, use NSAIDs. The key thing about managing cramps is taking it early. Also, women who take birth control pills make less prostaglandins. When you ovulate, you make more prostaglandins.”

MTV

Why do I get so emotional when i’m on my period?
karlijns2

Why do I get so emotional when i’m on my period?
—karlijns2

“There's not a scientific answer for that, but there is something called PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder) which is 'bad' PMS. There is strict medical criteria for this. Basically, these are really bad symptoms of anxiety, food cravings, irritability, bloating, full breasts discomfort. These symptoms get worse right before the period. We do know the same things we use to treat depression work pretty well for PMDD; SSRI anti-depressants work well for it.”

FOX

When I wear a menstrual cup and I lay down, does the blood go back in?
franciew2

When I wear a menstrual cup and I lay down, does the blood go back in?
—franciew2

“The answer is no, it will not go back up into the uterus. It stays in the cup.”

Matiasenelmundo / Getty Images

Is it true that if you never get your period ever, you cannot get pregnant?
catfarmer

Is it true that if you never get your period ever, you cannot get pregnant?
—catfarmer

“That's not true. It's hard to imagine someone who has a uterus not getting a period ever. For example, if I have someone who reached the age of seventeen and doesn't have a period, we usually evaluate the period medically. There are people who have certain genetic abnormalities which lead them to never get a period. Those women would not get pregnant.”

CW

When I was growing up, I was told that leaving tampons in longer than four hours could open you up to risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome, but most girls I know sleep in tampons. Isn’t this a bad idea, and really dangerous?
jmac1973

When I was growing up, I was told that leaving tampons in longer than four hours could open you up to risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome, but most girls I know sleep in tampons. Isn't this a bad idea, and really dangerous?
—jmac1973

“I would say four hours is overcautious. The magic number would be about 12 hours. We encourage women to change tampons a few times a day to practice good hygiene.”

Comedy Central

What side effects can there be when you take your birth control packs back to back (skipping the placebo week)?
kmmayy

What side effects can there be when you take your birth control packs back to back (skipping the placebo week)?
—kmmayy

“It's perfectly safe to do that. The one thing that happens to women often when they do that, they'll get spotting or staining before they finish the second pack of pills. But it's not medically dangerous.”

E!

Can having sex throw off your cycle?
ceararenee321

Can having sex throw off your cycle?
—ceararenee321

“It's unlikely this would happen.”

Universal Pictures

Galitskaya / Getty Images

Why is it that sometimes I don’t get my period but still have the symptoms like cramping, bloating, and heightened emotions while using a contraceptive like an IUD?
missjulie19892

Why is it that sometimes I don't get my period but still have the symptoms like cramping, bloating, and heightened emotions while using a contraceptive like an IUD?
—missjulie19892

“If it's an IUD, they're probably referring to Mirena. The symptoms are caused by ovulating, but the progestins in the IUD flattens out the lining of the uterus. There is no lining to be shed, but you make all the hormones from the ovaries so you do get those symptoms.”

NBC

Is it normal if sometimes there are big “jelly” clots during my period?
a4c28fa055

Is it normal if sometimes there are big “jelly” clots during my period?
—a4c28fa055

“It happens to many women, maybe most women, so it shouldn't be a problem. But if it happens too much and you're bleeding heavily, talk to your gynecologist.”

Denniro / Getty Images

Is it normal for your boobs to feel really sore when you are on your period? Mine always get really sore when I’m on it and I’m not sure if this is normal or not
doglover23

Is it normal for your boobs to feel really sore when you are on your period? Mine always get really sore when I’m on it and I’m not sure if this is normal or not
—doglover23

“It's very common to have fibro-cystic breast changes. One thing that contributes to this is caffeine. Try and de-caffeinate yourself a bit and it will probably help. One thing I recommend to my patients is this: vitamin B6 (100-200 MG a day), vitamin E (200 units), and evening primrose oil (2 capsules; 500 units) per day. 60-70% of my patients feel better when taking this.”

Mheim3011 / Getty Images

What causes the back pain?
drbagels123

What causes the back pain?
—drbagels123

“There are a couple of things going on. The prostaglandins can give you general achiness, and you can try Motrin or Aleve to help. Part of it can be pelvic congestion, which can cause back pain. The third possibility is that it could be endometriosis. If you're in a lot of pain, it's worth checking with your gynecologist.”

Bravo

Is it normal for the labia to ache during menstruation?
kathrynw499763d38

Is it normal for the labia to ache during menstruation?
—kathrynw499763d38

“For some people it does. This is because your pelvic muscles are filled up with blood (pelvic congestion syndrome) and this occurs when you have more blood there, so you'd feel it in your labia.”

Anetlanda / Getty Images

How long after giving birth will my period start back up again?
l4a2f7441e

How long after giving birth will my period start back up again?
—l4a2f7441e

“Breastfeeding tends to delay the onset of periods. There are some women who won't get a period until after six months after breastfeeding, but it's hard to predict. It's different for every women. Check in with your gynecologist if you still haven't gotten it after six months and you're not breastfeeding.

And just a side note: If you start having sex right after having a baby, pregnancy can make you much more fertile — even if you had a hard time getting pregnant in the first place.”

WB

What do the different colours of period blood mean? (Dark red, blood red, light red, reddish pink). Do they represent hormone levels?
peopleoftheuniverse7012

What do the different colours of period blood mean? (Dark red, blood red, light red, reddish pink). Do they represent hormone levels?
—peopleoftheuniverse7012

“The color that comes out may reflect how long the blood has been sitting in the uterus. It doesn't reflect the hormone levels.”

Getty Images

Why do periods emit a funky smell and how can you avoid smelling like it?
joyw407b53e12

Why do periods emit a funky smell and how can you avoid smelling like it?
—joyw407b53e12

“Old blood does have a funny odor. The vagina normally is acidic. You want to have an acidic vagina! But blood's PH is basic. The vagina becomes more basic when you're on your period. Some can be related to the growth of some kinds of bacteria. When you're finishing your period, you can help your vagina's PH get back to it's acidic state. RepHresh can be helpful because it helps lower your PH.”

(Dr. Minkin is a paid consultant for the company that makes RepHresh.)

VH1

Lately I have been getting migraine headaches at the beginning of each cycle. They knock me out worse than cramps do. Is this just a part of getting older or is this not normal?
emmag48a366955

Lately I have been getting migraine headaches at the beginning of each cycle. They knock me out worse than cramps do. Is this just a part of getting older or is this not normal?
—emmag48a366955

“It's not uncommon. Some women notice it when they get older. There are several different kinds of migraines. Some are hormonally related and some aren't. Peri-menstrual migraines happens when there is a drop in your estrogen level. When you start your period, your estrogen level is low, and that drop can trigger migraine headaches. I treat patients with a little bit of estrogen. Also, women sometimes get migraines when they go off the pill.”

Toei Company

Why do we get weird food cravings with our periods?
caitlynm4782d8d27

Why do we get weird food cravings with our periods?
—caitlynm4782d8d27

“We don't have a scientific answer for that. It's part of this PMS/PMDD package. Food cravings happen. If you're feeding your extreme sugar and salt cravings, you will feel worse. You want to be eating complex carbohydrates!”

NBC

Is it a red flag if all the sudden your flow becomes more irregular and heavier then before?
nicegirlz202

Is it a red flag if all the sudden your flow becomes more irregular and heavier then before?
—nicegirlz202

“I wouldn't say it's a red flag, but for some reason you're not ovulating as well. I would check in with your gynecologist. Stressors can make you get funky ovulation. Also, changing exercise habits or hormonal changes can contribute to irregular or heavier flows.”

Bravo

Is having few periods (a handful a year) a sign of underlying illness? Aside from this, I’m healthy and the periods themselves are normal.
kadamony

Is having few periods (a handful a year) a sign of underlying illness? Aside from this, I'm healthy and the periods themselves are normal.
—kadamony

“I would say probably not, but it's good to check in with your gynecologist.”

Ru_foto / Getty Images

If you have a specific question or concern about your period, don't be afraid to ask your gynecologist! Open communication between both of you will help you get the answers you need.

12 Things Porn Stars Want You To Know About Sex

Find me someone who knows more about good sex than these people.

Whether or not you watch porn, I think we can all agree that if there’s one thing porn stars know, it’s sex.

Whether or not you watch porn, I think we can all agree that if there's one thing porn stars know, it's sex.

Not only do they know about it, they're experts at it. They're literally paid to have sex. Professionally. Like it's a goddamn sport. Hey, it might as well be. Having sex is technically a form of physical activity, especially when you consider how much and how often porn stars are doing it. And with porn viewership growing every year — total visits to PornHub grew from 21.2 billion in 2015 to 28.5 billion in 2017 — you can expect there to be a lot more fucking to come.

Knowing that, we thought it'd be interesting to find out what porn stars really think people need to know about sex, and that maybe we could learn a few things from the people who've (most likely) had it more than anyone else. Especially because porn can influence what people think sex should be — giving them unrealistic expectations of bodies, performance, and positions, among other things. So, we spoke to Moriah Mills, Donnie Rock, Jason Luv, and Tori Black. Here's what they had to say.

IFC / Via giphy.com

Most of what you see in porn isn’t real.

Most of what you see in porn isn't real.

I mean, obviously, right? It's worth mentioning, though, because there's lots of porn that might SEEM real — calling you out, amateur porn — when, actually, it all comes from a script. In fact, the actors will usually know exactly which sex acts are involved before the shoot is even booked, since their rates can depend on things like how much dialogue there is or how dangerous the fetishes being filmed are, Black tells BuzzFeed Health.

Even if it is real sex, it's still a performance, Mills tells BuzzFeed Health. There aren't any emotions involved like there would be in real-life sex, and sometimes there might not even be any chemistry between the two (or more) people having sex. Sometimes, the actors aren't meeting the people they'll be shooting with until the day of the shoot. “You never really meet the young lady until the actual scene,” Luv tells BuzzFeed Health. “They feel like that builds up the sexual tension by not seeing them. But I feel like you should talk to them for at least 30 minutes to an hour first to at least get the likes and dislikes out of the way.”

In some ways, working in porn is just like having regular work relationships. Your reputation in the industry matters, and people tend to work with people they like, if they can. “It's a tight-knit community, so reputations spread like wildfire,” Black says.

Screen Gems / Via meghanfizzy.tumblr.com

Actually, most of the positions you see in porn aren’t meant to be done IRL, either.

Actually, most of the positions you see in porn aren't meant to be done IRL, either.

I could list a whole lot of positions, but just watch some porn — you'll surely spot a position (or three) that look uncomfortable or difficult. All of these positions are done for the sake of a good camera shot. Porn stars are told to “open up for the camera,” Mills says, so that the sex act and whatever fetishes or kinks are featured in the porn can be seen at the same time.

“I shoot a lot of foot fetish scenes, so you're fucking her feet a lot, and every time you're having sex with her, the feet are in the shot,” Rock says. “I'm never going to fuck like that at home because it's very awkward. I have to pull her feet around so that they're right by the penetration; so that it's in the same shot on camera.”

Now, that's not to say you can't practice these positions when you get down. “You can do those in real life if your partner is adventurous or knows how to do those things,” Mills says, emphasizing that you should be strong enough and have the stamina to do them, too.

Why? Because sometimes it's really hard holding these positions, Luv says. “People try to do that in their regular life, and I'm like, 'Dude, you're definitely about to lose your wood trying to do that position,'” he says. “Sometimes I be shaking because holding the position causes so much [stress] on the muscles. My whole body be shaking. You can't tell in the videos, but I'm like, 'Yo, how many more minutes we have in this position?”

Universal Pictures / Via giphy.com

There are a bunch of reasons dudes last so long in porn, and TBH, Viagra isn’t always one of them.

There are a bunch of reasons dudes last so long in porn, and TBH, Viagra isn't always one of them.

It's one of the most common questions from people outside the industry, Luv says. Sure, there are people in porn who use Viagra, injection therapy, or those gas station pills with really absurd names. But both Rock and Luv say you don't need those if you can train your mind and distract yourself. Fortunately for them, there are A LOT of distractions on a porn set.

“You just have to focus your mind on other things outside of the tingling sensation that you get on your penis,” Luv says. “Change the movement and the pace, and start thinking about something else.” That “something else” can be anything, they say. “If I feel like I'm going to come, I just glance over at the camera guy or something,” Rock says.

There's also the fact that no porn star goes all the way through a scene without taking a break. It's never 30 minutes to an hour of straight pounding, Rock says. “We're stopping in-between positions, drinking water, moving the camera,” and that's just enough time to think about other things and desensitize the penis, Luv says. So, if you're trying to figure this out yourself, try taking a quick water break, switching positions, or, as Rock does, teasing your partner a bit before jumping back in.

Comedy Central / Via giphy.com

And while we’re talking about penises, good sex has nothing to do with penis size. (🗣 For the people in the back!) It’s how you use it that matters.

And while we're talking about penises, good sex has nothing to do with penis size. (🗣 For the people in the back!) It's how you use it that matters.

If you have a penis, then you've probably — at least once! — been self-conscious about your penis size. It's a common concern, and something that a lot of people ask porn stars about: Does size matter?

“The answer is no,” Black says. In fact, the vast majority of penises aren't HUGE and they aren't small — they're right in-between, with the average erect length being 5.17 inches. “All you have to do is figure out how to use what you got,” and be confident in your sex game, she says. “You can't be saying, 'Oh, I don't have a big one, so I'm not able to be good. It's a cop-out. You've got all sorts of resources; figure it out.”

Something to remember: “You're not really good at it unless you can satisfy your partner,” says Rock. And that means pleasure from penetration as well as other things, like foreplay (which we'll get to soon).

NBC / Via giphy.com

Watching porn is a great way to explore and learn about your own sexual interests, and get off on your fantasies.

Watching porn is a great way to explore and learn about your own sexual interests, and get off on your fantasies.

For a sec, let's pretend that porn is a buffet and all the different foods are different fantasies. “You have every different cuisine. All these different cuisines that you’ve never heard of — you don’t recognize the majority of the food,” Black says. Porn lets you to take a bite out of the foods you've never tried before or thought you'd like, and it also give you the opportunity to dive deeper into the foods you do like. So if you're interested in, say, outdoor sex, double-penetration orgy sex, sex while smoking cigarettes, etc., it's all there for you.

“I’m grateful for the opportunity to help people explore themselves,” Black says. “I feel like people lump themselves to the side of the buffet that they know, and they just have so much more of it. But just take a nibble off of a table you’ve never been to. Sometimes you just gotta get out there…and explore. There are so many feelings and smells and tastes. Things to hear and listen to.”

HBO / Via giphy.com

And, assuming you don’t take it too seriously, it’s also a good source for discovering sex you’d like to try out.

And, assuming you don't take it too seriously, it's also a good source for discovering sex you'd like to try out.

Porn can give people new ideas, new positions, and different levels of passion to imitate, Luv says. “I like to think it helps people's marriages and relationships, and keeps the sexual tension up.”

So if you see a new position, kink, or fantasy that you want to act out, talk to your partner about it. You'll want to see if they're into it, if it's too far outside of their comfort zone, or if they have any concerns about it. You might not want to bring it up while actually having sex, because it could ruin the moment, Rock says. But also, it’s safer to ask your partner about trying something new ahead of time rather than asking them in the moment and potentially making them feel uncomfortable.

If you and your partner are really interested in expanding your sexual repertoire, Luv says that besides talking to them about what you'd like to do, you should also list your fetishes on a piece of paper, and then swap. See which fetishes are not too far outside of your comfort zone and commit to completing at least one thing on the list every month. “It's going to make for a vastly improved sex life,” he says.

Keep in mind that doing anything new will force you to step outside your comfort zone, even if it's only a little bit. But you're also going to learn what you really do and don't like, and that's both empowering and sexually liberating, says Black.

Comedy Central / Via newnownext.com

If you and your partner get into something new, go slowly, and pay attention to how they respond.

If you and your partner get into something new, go slowly, and pay attention to how they respond.

Whether it's a fantasy like role-playing, something more straightforward like anal sex, or just plain sticking your fingers in your partner's mouth, you'll be better off easing into it rather than going full force from the jump. Paying attention to how your partner responds through body language, and then adjusting accordingly, is key, Rock says.

“You can feel it in the energy,” says Black. “In their eyes…goosebumps are a real thing. Muscle twitches. It heightens your awareness of another person. When you cater to someone and you pay attention to someone sexually, you find that your relationship improves because they feel catered to — like you're paying attention to them, like you're listening.”

Your partner will probably feel more appreciated if you pay attention, Black says, noting that people often feel vulnerable during sex. Conversely, neglecting your partner's interest in everything you're doing to them could make them feel uncomfortable, violated, or taken advantage of.

Fox Searchlight / Via giphy.com

And don’t forget that verbal communication is a thing — use it!

And don't forget that verbal communication is a thing — use it!

Maybe you don't really like the position you're in. Maybe your partner is trying a new kink out on you and all of a sudden you feel weird about it. Maybe you're the one trying to get your partner to have sex, but they're just not into it at the moment.

Look, rejection sucks. But sometimes you just have to take it. Sometimes, you have to be the one to reject someone. Either one is totally fine, and there shouldn't be any repercussions for it. We're all humans with our own emotions and thought processes, and sometimes we feel good about things, sometimes we don't.

“Sometimes I want to be cuddled and made love to. Sometimes I want to be really nasty,” Black says. Communicating how you feel is important in these instances, she says. And if you're on the receiving end, have patience. “Remember that your partner's response doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with their comfort level with you. It’s just how they’re feeling. It’s just what’s going on in their life. Maybe tonight’s not a good time. Maybe next week will be, or next month.”

Warner Bros. / Via giphy.com

Also, educate and prepare yourself for something new before trying it out.

Also, educate and prepare yourself for something new before trying it out.

Not everything you try will be easy or feel good the first time you do it. So if you're thinking about getting into some bondage, read up on the types of things you'd use to tie someone up before getting a random set of ropes and tying them into a knot you can't undo. If you're prepping to get down with anal sex, figure out the best ways to prepare your butthole for it.

Case in point: “I did anal for the first time last month. I did it cold turkey, and it’s really different than regular vaginal. You really need to lube up and just prepare yourself… It was an experience,” Mills says, adding that there was definitely some pain. “But towards the end, it became pleasurable.” So, sure, it may take some time getting comfortable with new kinds of sex, but it will happen, and chances are the more prepared you are for it, the more pleasurable it'll be.

Also, quick side note: If you're ever unsure, lube it up. If you think you're good without it, THINK AGAIN. Lube. It. Up.
👏 👏 👏

Showtime / Via aslatrinasfemininas.tumblr.com

Never forget that foreplay makes for better sex.

Never forget that foreplay makes for better sex.

“It's the warm-up to the main event,” Rock says. And though it might also depend on what you're into, I think we can all agree that at least a little foreplay can elevate the experience. “Exciting them excites me,” Rock says, and that should be your approach to sex too.

Foreplay doesn't have to involve crazy tricks or take too long, either. Sometimes, a good kiss is good enough, Mills and Black say. “The chemistry and passion get me off the most, more so than the act of sex alone,” Black says. “Give me one good, solid, passionate kiss, and I'm going to feel it through my whole body. … I can't imagine trying to have sex without any kind of foreplay. At least kiss my neck; give me something.”

@simimoonlight / @NickNPattiWhack / Via Twitter: @simimoonlight

And last but not least, if porn stars can have safe sex, so can you.

Truth: Porn stars often have sex without condoms. Another truth: Actors who shoot porn go through mandatory testing for sexually transmitted infections every 14 days, if not more frequently. Their results are also submitted to an online database called PASS, so that everyone involved in shooting the scene can verify that the actors' information is up to date. In many ways, porn stars are having safer sex than the general population.

“This is the safest I've ever been in my life when it comes to sex,” Mills says. “When you're out in the real world, people lie about their status. Some people don't even get tested.” In fact, all the actors interviewed for this post agreed that porn sex is MUCH safer than IRL sex. “Since I've been doing porn, it's put fear into me in real life, because I don't want to have sex with other girls. You ask them to get tested and they act like you asked them to cut off their right leg and hand it to you,” Luv says. “As a professional, that's your career. My penis is my paycheck. Without it, I can't clock in.”

So get tested at least every couple of months, Rock says, especially if you're having sex with multiple partners. And use condoms every time.

Now get out there and be sexually free!

Now get out there and be sexually free!

OK, maybe not outside out there, but you know what we mean.

Comedy Central / Via giphy.com

22 Sexting Tips You’ll Want To Put To Good Use Immediately

First of all, NO UNSOLICITED DICK PICS.

To help you out, we asked members of the BuzzFeed Community for their best sexting tips. Here's what they had to say about upping your game and avoiding some awkward conversations.

Questions are a good jumping off point, but don’t be a dead-weight sexting partner who only asks questions and makes the other person do all the work.

Questions are a good jumping off point, but don't be a dead-weight sexting partner who only asks questions and makes the other person do all the work.

—Anonymous

me.me

Start by talking about the last time you guys had sex or some particularly hot memory.

Start by talking about the last time you guys had sex or some particularly hot memory.

It's an easy way to get things going. A casual “Remember how hot last night was?” goes a long way.

—Anonymous

FOX / Via gifsgallery.com

And don’t skimp on the details!

And don't skimp on the details!

Tell me exactly where your hands, lips, etc. are gonna go, and what they’re gonna do.

brandis451860280

sextybits.tumblr.com

Ease into it. Sexting needs foreplay too.

Ease into it. Sexting needs foreplay too.

Don’t start a sext by jumping in headfirst. Start slow. Foreplay is important even in the imaginary world.

vgracet

Comedy Central / Twitter: @SexualGif

Take all the necessary precautions for sending ~nudez~.

Take all the necessary precautions for sending ~nudez~.

Never show your face. Ever. Also, whenever you send a nude, consider putting a different watermark on the picture when you send one to a different person. That way, if it ever gets exposed or somehow ends up on social media, you know exactly who did it.

bre0610

(Pssst, here's a guide to safely sending your nudes.)

Paramount Pictures / Via buzzfeed.com

And never send unsolicited nudes!!!

And never send unsolicited nudes!!!

simsf3

@str8boytexts / Via Twitter: @str8boytexts

Use Boomerang to make sexy GIFs as a break from pics or videos.

Use Boomerang to make sexy GIFs as a break from pics or videos.

The only thing better than a sexy video is a sexy GIF. Super fun. I call them sexy boom-booms, but that’s just me.

m4538111ef

imgur.com

Or send voice notes — in WhatsApp, for example — since it can be more intimate to hear each other’s voices.

Or send voice notes — in WhatsApp, for example — since it can be more intimate to hear each other's voices.

ginaw4a043c22b

sleezed.tumblr.com

Try replacing “want” with “need.”

Try replacing "want" with "need."

mhbrown99q

kikoou.tumblr.com

Read erotica or NSFW fic to get ideas for how to write about sex.

Read erotica or NSFW fic to get ideas for how to write about sex.

It also can help you come up with roleplay ideas or fantasy scenarios.

travist42f3aa057

Rebecca Hendin / BuzzFeed

Maybe don’t spring something on your partner if you haven’t talked about it before, especially if it’s kinky or ~out there~.

Maybe don't spring something on your partner if you haven't talked about it before, especially if it's kinky or ~out there~.

My biggest sexting tip is to get to know what they like, so that when you're in the mood, your kinks don't put them off. Take three minutes to just ask them what they are into.

tiasanders

8888888boobmuffins.tumblr.com

Reference the specific little things you know they like, not just things that turn *you* on, and they’ll probably follow your lead.

Reference the specific little things you know they like, not just things that turn *you* on, and they'll probably follow your lead.

That way you’ll be focusing on getting each other hot, while also getting turned on yourself. It’s not nearly as fun or enjoyable if each person is only talking about things that give them pleasure.

katieb4b6d4c808

tumblr.com

But also, don’t pretend to be into something that you’re not just for sexting purposes.

But also, don't pretend to be into something that you're not just for sexting purposes.

Do what YOU'RE into. Don't try to appeal to someone else.

allhailhailey03

CBS / Twitter: @rosepetalqueen

Feel free to fudge the truth a bit, like saying you’re naked when you’re actually sitting around watching Netflix in sweats.

Feel free to fudge the truth a bit, like saying you're naked when you're actually sitting around watching Netflix in sweats.

A girl can multitask!

—Anonymous

FOX / @the_mermaid_lagoon / Via me.me

But also make an event of it if you want to. Like, go all in.

But also make an event of it if you want to. Like, go all in.

I really like to set the mood when I'm texting. Like, crawl into bed naked with a vibrator and my girl's sexts. I'm not above lighting a candle either.

—Anonymous

HBO / Via octopussoir-.tumblr.com

Use language that you normally use already, otherwise it’ll probably sound forced and take you out of it instead of ~feeling it~.

Use language that you normally use already, otherwise it'll probably sound forced and take you out of it instead of ~feeling it~.

Don’t suddenly broaden your vocabulary.

kimw4758a2d79

sextybits.tumblr.com

Go easy on the emojis.

Go easy on the emojis.

One or two placed in the right situation? Yeah, okay, it can set the tone. But I really, really do not need every message punctuated with peaches, eggplants, and winky faces.

mollyt47e2ee7a1

dailydot.tumblr.com

Reread your texts before you send them, because typos can reeeally kill the mood.

Reread your texts before you send them, because typos can reeeally kill the mood.

Once I was having a pretty heated sexting convo. But once he said he couldn't wait to “duck me hard,” it pretty much ended right there.

—Angie, Facebook

rips-and-trips.tumblr.com

Give lots of compliments, but make sure they’re realistic.

Give lots of compliments, but make sure they're realistic.

Don't talk about what a huge dick he has if he doesn't have a huge dick, you know? It ruins the moment because it's obviously a lie.

—Anonymous

ninini-ni.tumblr.com

Beware of rereading your texts later when you’re not ~in the mood~ anymore.

Beware of rereading your texts later when you're not ~in the mood~ anymore.

I have said some verrrry graphic things in the heat of the moment, and then the next day felt like I could die. Like, “Haiii, can I borrow your phone real quick so I can delete that shit I said?” Yikes.

gdbuzzfeed

Fox Searchlight Pictures / Twitter: @bryanlicious2

And last but not least, always double-check who you’re texting.

And last but not least, always double-check who you're texting.

Trust me. I found that out the hard way.

allhailhailey03

imgur.com

Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.